2002-07-22   5:51 a.m.

i've been a shut-in for a few days; the only real product, besides writing a little web application in php, has been best on repeat, my new one-man computer band. after only one day in existence, bor is already "featured" by another "artist" :) muah

my reason for making an entry today is the small piece of burger lodged behind my nose, but out of reach for hawking, coughing, snorting, and nose-blowing - as a side note, my nerdiness is best exemplified by the fact that to check my spelling i googled the strings "hawk lugey" and "hock lugey", using the spelling that had more hits: hawk by one.

anyway, about the small piece of burger. how did it get there, you ask? well, a funny story. the other night Brytne was telling me on the phone about how she had spent the evening puking, as a result of one of those terrible spinny rides at six flags (where she works).. the interesting part is, she related that for once the vomit didn't come out her nose, which i thought was totally disgusting (the implication that vomit typically does come out of her nose - not the fact that this time it didn't), and i mocked her, flaunting my ability to close my nose-valve at a moment's notice to hault any torrent of vomit attempting penetration of the nasal region.

then, tonight, as i took a shower while waiting on the new best on repeat track to upload, a very strange sequence of events - possibly the only such sequence that could lead to the failing of said valve-closing ability - took to occurring. i covered my hair/head in shampoo, and was mid-lather, when i was met with a very sudden sneeze - well, the first (inhaling) half of one anyway. however, as i was past the halfway point of the lathering process, the amount of lather running into my face was such that, not only were my eyes squeezed shut for their own safety, but rather than inhaling air i sharply took in a huge quantity of the stuff. what followed was a blind, naked oaf stomping around in a the shower, coughing and gagging wildly; in the frantic haze i somehow managed to clear most of the shampoo out of my eyes, as i can hardly think without them open, before hurling the shampoo i had swallowed, surrounded by chunks of this morning's hamburger (it's a weird sleep schedule; don't ask) all over the shower floor.

success! i was triumphant! it wouldn't be long before i was back to shower-writing more songs for best on repeat!





...but then i felt it.

so here i sit, lonely and now testing to see if swallowing repeatedly and with force can somehow dislodge the little piece of hamburger from behind my nose (but out of reach for hawking, coughing, snorting, and nose-blowing), hoping for the second half of that sneeze - my savior.

and here i shall remain,

kyle wild

let's get some milk and cookies
let's get some milk and cookies