2003-02-13   4:07 a.m.

Good morning, Father. It has been seven months since my last confession.

Actually, that's not entirely true. See Father, I've been cheating on you a bit.. but not much.

I'm not going to discuss all that has transpired since my last entry, but rather start again, today, Valentine's Eve.

After threat of eviction, we cleaned the apartment thoroughly.

With motive to maintain the pristine quality of the place, Nate has created a very clever chore system. Every morning, he, the responsible one, assigns a chore to each of us. We have until 1 AM to complete the chore, or we owe $2. If the chore is not completed after another full day, the $2 becomes $4, and so on. The money collected in this manner is communal; we'll probably use it for bills, or to go out to eat somewhere cool at the end of the year.

Yesterday, with the apartment being in fairly clean condition, I was assigned to the task of creating (and have since decided to maintain) a list of skills for Nate to acquire. This was inspired in part by one of my mild rants on wasted time, and on the fact that every day (or week, or month, whatever) a person could (should) be learning something of some value or intrigue, rather than just dumping their time into a void.

I have a very hard time practicing as I preach.

But tonight I began reading a book, the completion of which would give me a books-read total of two for 2003 so far, which surpasses 2002 by... two. The first book was Ender's Game. The new book is How to Win Friends and Influence People. I'm fairly certain my brother has read both of them as well. I wish I could talk to him about them :(

This is a long-needed year for self-betterment. I had stupidly hoped to bring about day-and-night change in myself, but I'm starting to realize that's not what it's about. Still, though, every time I skip a class or assignment, deprive myself of sleep, or hurt someone I love, I can't help but criticize myself. However, I am perfectly confident those instances will become fewer, and farther between, in 2003.

Lim t->oo

tryin' to figure out this life